In India, scolding is a culture and is passed down from one generation to another. It is very common to see a husband shouting at his wife, parents reprimanding kids, siblings screaming at each other even over matters so insignificant that only a few words could have resolved it.
Simple ways to build confidence in kids
It is normalized!
Nobody bothers passing a scolding or two.
Many people consider scolding as a way of expression. But in reality it is the expression of rough words, projected at someone who sometimes is not at all at fault.
Few decades back, it was rarely thought about when fathers scolded their kids. The words and the action were accepted as Holy Grail.
Everyone sprung to action as a reaction to the scolding, but nobody reacted to that in any other way.
The flow of scolding has always been from elders to youngsters; no reverse!
Elders can scold the younger ones and ironically, the younger ones will be reprimanded if they talk back. As surprising as it sounds, this act of rebuke has a linear flow; there is no reverse way.
It is a one-way road, with no space to take a turn and mind you it is a never ending road.
Why does this legacy need to stop right away?
This age-old tradition rests on the assumption that rough words and tough actions make a strong human being. While on one hand we do not question the wisdom our forefathers had, but we surely don’t see it relevant on this present day.
Also, with so much awareness around the mental health of kids, we are compelled to broaden our horizon of thoughts around our kids.
Be it advancement of technology, ease of communication and availability of several platforms kids these days are exposed to several things at a time. It is needless to say how stressed kids are these days fulfilling academic targets, maintaining non-academic goals and achieving in extra co-curricular activities.
Scolding skews the understanding of a kid about healthy relationships. Gradually a kid tends to believe that scolding is how relations are meant to be.
Long term effects of scolding are anxiety, low self-esteem, and also increased aggression. Being scolded makes a child feel small and humiliated and when it is done on a regular basis, the child loses the spark and the zeal to move ahead. It keeps a child stuck to his/ her insecurities and fears.