The dirty secret behind obsessive relationships


“Being obsessed with your boyfriend or girlfriend” is one of the trending reels on Instagram now, where you longingly look at your significant other with adoration, love and care. The romantic song in the background makes it all dreamlike and cheesy, but how much of it all is real and right? While obsession here seems to be in a healthy context, it is not always what it looks like. How dark can obsession get, when it’s wound up in lies, deceit and distrust?

There should be no secrets between a couple as honesty is the best policy. Compared to the ample number of times we all have heard it, some couples take this to the very next level. Some couples obsess over secrets way too much. They go to great lengths to find out about what their partner is doing or where they are. From stalking to keeping tabs on their partner, some people misuse the trust they have in their partner. They cross boundaries to keep a check on their partner because they have an ardent desire to know what their partner is doing at all times. They want to be aware of the people their partner is talking to. This reaches a toxic standpoint which there is no turning back from.

Once you develop an unhealthy obsession towards your partner, it’s the beginning of the end of the relationship.

The lack of privacy or boundary in the relationship is also why unhealthy obsession grows within a person, regarding their partner and the relationship. When insecurities seep into the mind, all sorts of thoughts like infidelity, cheating and distrust prove to be huge roadblocks in the way of having a healthy and faithful relationship. The need to know everything about your partner at all times is extremely toxic.

You lose your individuality in the moment because all you care about is your partner. There’s no space to recognise and work towards your needs and wants anymore because everything is just about them. This is where the obsessiveness draws you in and causes you to do things that you never thought you would even do. If checking your partner’s phone constantly is surprising you, wait till you know what more can happen when you are in an obsessive relationship.

When jealousy enters the picture, obsessiveness can reach a whole other level. You may become paranoid about the other person who might be flirting with your partner. Or if your partner is the popular jock among everyone, your jealousy and envy may even have no limit! From stalking their profile to knowing their daily schedule, there are many things you can resort to, once obsession takes over your mind. And unhealthy jealousy can turn to envy which turns to cause really big problems in the relationship. At first, it may not look like anything but later, the problem may increase. The issues between you both will flare up if you continue to have an obsession with what your partner is up to.

At first, it may seem all glamorous, cheesy and romantic but underneath it all, it’s toxic. The blurred lines of protectiveness become too much to handle as you may even become controlling and manipulative. You may end up controlling your partner because of this overwhelming desire to be with your partner all the time.

In the end, it all boils down to whatever it takes, to have the perfect relationship.

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